As we slowly move through the journey to try conceive our 2nd child I feel it’s a good time for a little reminder to trust myself. Our mommy instinct is strong and if we just listen to it and cut out all the external noise we will be happier mommies.
The below is a letter to myself when I was a new mom, a first-time mom but will certainly apply with number 2.
Dear new-mum-me,
You are doing great! You carried & grew a miracle in your belly. You are already a superhero!
It’s ok to not feel an overwhelming love for your tiny baby as he is first handed to you; he’s a bit of a stranger and you have no idea who he is just yet. You don’t even have a name for him, that will come to you as you spend time with him. Love grows and before you know it the love you have for him will hurt because it’s so deep & all consuming.
Stop reading all the books & Googling any- & everything. Put down your watch, pen & notebook when breastfeeding; be quiet and listen to your gut & your baby. It’s ok if he wants to feed every hour or 2 in the first few weeks; his tummy is tiny and he needs you now more than ever. Cuddle him, put him in a carrier or lie with him, skin to skin, it’s called the 4th trimester for a reason; your touch & smell is what he knows and he only feels safe with you. You can’t expect him to be happy when he’s away from you.
Your life is different now, especially in the next 3 months. The world as you know it has been turned upside down, your body has been through a million changes and you need to let go of what was and accept what is. The more you fight change the harder it will be.
Where’s the manual I hear you ask? You did get it; it’s your instinct and your baby. Be quiet a while and take a listen, you know exactly what to do. You know what your baby needs and if you just be calm and listen your baby will guide you.
It’s ok to leave the dishes to pile up, get the maid in more often or ask a friend to pop in and help when they come for a cup of tea. It’s ok to get healthy meals delivered for you all to eat; you’ve just had a baby, you need to rest and be there for him. You are different to before, your priorities have changed and it’s ok to be a little confused for a while. You are far from useless! People like to feel useful so don’t deny them that opportunity. Help is a phone call away from a variety of willing people.
This is your new norm, for now. But in a few months it will change again and the more you accept it the easier it is. Be kind to yourself and just be.
You’ve got this mama.
xxx
