Marriage after having a kid

No one ever said it would be easy but millions have done it successfully and millions do it every day and will do for many years to come. But marriage after kids is flipped hard! You each feel you’re doing so much but you always feel the other isn’t doing enough.

My situation is unique amongst my friends. My husband is the sole breadwinner, he earns all the money and pays for everything. I’m what they called (a longtime ago) a kept woman. My responsibilities are looking after the child (when he’s not at play school or with the au pair) which is still a lot of the time, getting up with him every single morning when he wakes as well as looking after and running the household. That includes staff, laundry, paying bills as necessary, grocery shopping and cooking meals. I’ve chosen to also have my own business because I wanted to so I need to find time to do that as well. My husbands responsibility is working to earn the money and spending time when he can with our son. “Normal” families – both parents work so nanny raises the kid(s), but parenting duties are shared 50/50 as they both have office jobs.

But today it all got too much for me. Today I had had enough of always having to wake up and spend +-3 hours alone with Tristan. I’d had enough of spending the majority of the weekend alone with our son, entertaining him, feeding him etc.

So I’ve set a task for us; by Wednesday we both have to come up with 2 ways to get us back onto the same page. To reconnect with each other.

I’ve been doing some reading this evening and really want to share these articles and images with others and myself in years to come: Article 1, Article 2 and Article 3. I almost want to say read them every night and each day try and remember what you read and replicate it so that you’re conscious of your spouse. I’m definitely going to be using these documents as I formulate my 2 ways for us to reconnect.

Parenting and keeping a strong and healthy marriage is flipped hard. Both take time, effort, patience, love and understanding but I know we can get through this and be stronger for it!

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