Marriage is hard; it takes 2 people not just loving each other, but compromising and working together as a team. Marriage takes effort and work; you both need to show up not just for each other, but for yourself every single day, no matter what! Having kids doesn’t make a marriage better or easier, they make a marriage harder. It tests each person individually as well as the unit.

So many things happen that test / put pressure on a marriage; moving house, loss of a loved one, fertility/infertility, moving country, changing / losing a job, health, finances and the list goes on.

marriage

When we go into a marriage we have no idea what lies ahead of us as a couple or as individuals. We get married because we feel & know that we want to spend the rest of our lives with the other person. We make a legal (and binding) contract to each other to stay together, love each other, protect, cherish and honour each other until death do us part. That’s huge! To me, that is unbreakable and divorce isn’t even an option. Unless 1 party does something unforgivable then you both have to work to fix it and get back on track. But that’s a whole different post…

During the dating days we have the conversations around raising a family, what marriage means to each of us, etc. We have these conversations almost unrealistically; I say this because we don’t know what life is going to throw at us. We don’t honestly know how we will cope through trials and tribulations, we hope we will be able to back ourselves and our ideas when the going gets tough.

my father, my hero

As you girls our father is our first role model of what a man, husband and father should be. He sets the standard to which we uphold all future men. Well that’s my opinion and what I’ve certainly done! In my eyes my father is perfect, he can do no wrong. When I married Mr M I had expectations based on what I’d seen of my parents marriage while I was growing up.

My parents have a wonderful marriage; I’m sure they had their bumps in the road but clearly they worked together to resolve any issues as, 48 years later they are still together and possibly stronger than ever.

I’m not here to offer or give advice to anyone, we are all figuring it out as we go along. What I am here to say is, don’t rest on your laurels in your marriage, be attentive to your partner, be aware of your own needs, wants and quirks (both good & bad), talk to each other. Once kid(s) come into the picture I think it’s even more important to up your communication game; make time to talk to each other. Make time to be connected to each other. Ask for help from a coach or therapist if you need it, there’s no shame in asking for help!

that’s that pussycat

Mr M and I have been through a lot since we met each other almost 10 years ago. A whirlwind romance, married 2 years after meeting, bought a house months after our wedding, Tristan arriving a year later, postnatal depression, miscarriage, Grayson, worldwide pandemic, moving city and finally moving country! It’s a lot and we are fortunate that we have a strong love for each other and will do whatever it takes to work through any issues that arise. We aren’t perfect, but we are us and I love that.

Much love xxx